Think Christian - Latest Comments in Why People Leave the Church

Re: Why People Leave the Church

JCarpenter — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 11:48:38 -0000

It would be interesting to use this column and comments as a template to review the subsequent event of Ann Rice's leaving the established Church this past summer. Similar reasons, but less understanding, harsher judgment of a public figure.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Daniel — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 18:36:37 -0000

I grew up in a Fundamentalist Christian home, attended a Fundamentalist Christian college, even graduated from an Orthodox/Calvinist seminary and I've decided that "Church" (the institution) is a waist of my time. What's strange is that my faith in Jesus Christ has never been stronger. But what I believe has changed. I just can't take what the institutional church has done with the message of the Gospel. As I have pursued Christ, I began to realize that for Church, Jesus was just a brand for which all those denominations are just so many teams. Joining the Church is just joining a team with its various team traditions, team colors, stadiums, chants, stats, budgets, etc. Their theologies are just rationalist constructs, like so many different "brand messages", that these Churches believe in more than they do Jesus. They've become seduced by having "everything figured out" with their faith becoming a merely a prideful self-righteousness. Their only motivation is to recruit more team members — mindless sycophants that will ape their agendas and support their programs. They have turned the house of God into a den of thieves.
I'm done with it. I'll keep Jesus.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Sharon Young — Wed, 06 May 2009 05:39:10 -0000

I pray that it wouldn't be nothing in life to separate me from god although sometimes i get discourge because of my long struggle but every time god just open up that door as i sometimes want to through in the tower. I'am very displease with the congragation that is with in the facilities of the house of god they suppose to help there own in my struggle i found that going to work paying tithes offering etc. I thought that in the time of trouble we suppose to help each other well i'am sorry i have a problem with that because when i had cancer and could not work because i had to get chemo that i would be help by my own congragation in stead one of the sister in the church ask me if i could go and apply for social service then ask me if i was a tithe payer and i responed yes. It was so davastating to me because this was the second time i was turn down by a church. So i have not been the church in a while i would say on a regular basics about four years now i had to encourage my self god heal me and i just try to stay in the word much as possiable and watch and listen to service over the internet. I lost a lot but i know that they arre just earthly things but i do not feel that i could ever turn to the church for help any church for that matter.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Vanessa — Tue, 05 May 2009 09:46:29 -0000

There are hundreds of reasons people leave churches. But what is comforting to me is when I can find the answers as to why in the Bible. One reason is given in the Gospels that covers a lot of ground. Luke Chapter 8...lists reasons whether we like to accept them or not. For instance,

And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection. But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience. Luke 8:14-15

Acts chapter 2 the Holy Spirit fell on all in the Upper room at an appointed time. My point is that they were all gathered for one reason and they were in prayer. There was no one in the room who was not a true believer or a disciple of our Lord.

The Bible teaches as the coming of Christ draws closer it would be become beyond difficult to be a believer in this world and continue in the faith.

The Apostles were constantly encouraging the leaders and flock to hold fast to their faith and confession of Jesus Christ because they understood the hardship. How much more do we need that now?

Finally there was Demas of whom Paul finally said,

For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world, and is departed unto Thessalonica; Crescens to Galatia, Titus unto Dalmatia. Only Luke is with me. Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry. 2 Timothy 4:10-11

In the end all who should be in the house will be there. I have very few I can fellowship with outside of a church building because over the years I have found less who love the Word of God and find their joy in the Holy Ghost.

A pastor's wife discipled me after I became a believer. One of the best words of glory she could have given me was to direct me to Psalm 119. It took me three years or longer to finally act on her words and read it.

By the time I read it the Lord had already told me how to walk with Him and it agreed with Psalm 119. It was the Word of God.

I don't see how there can be so many Bibles today and still many people are no closer to Jesus than when we had fewer versions. But I believe there needs to be a serious revival of God's Word in our churches and in our hearts. You cannot always hope to have others around to keep you rooted and grounded.

After 31 years of walking with th Lord I would rather gather with one or two who love Jesus, are baptized with His Spirit and love the Word of God than spend time in a church building with all the doubt and unbelief listed in the graph above.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Elbee55 — Mon, 04 May 2009 11:19:32 -0000

God has spoken to me and instructed me to identify all the things I have found lacking in the body that I am a part of. For those that I found to be unaffirming individuals I was prompted to affirm. For the seemingly aloof I was to become loving and accepting and edifying. To those who seemed unlovely and always sitting in the shadows, I was to draw out and invite to my home. The things you see in your body that seem to irritate you, that you find lacking, or maybe you aren't getting the beeps that you need, give to them that which you perceive that you need. Love the unlovely, receive those that are the hardest and win those hearts to the kingdom as you become conformed over and over into the image of your savior Jesus Christ.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Oggie — Mon, 04 May 2009 06:04:14 -0000

maybe, the church has lost its saltiness and as being light to the world????

Re: Why People Leave the Church

alvin_tsf — Mon, 04 May 2009 01:34:28 -0000

"It seems so en vogue today to become disenfranchised with the church and leave a particular body, or leave the corporate body altogether."

pcg,

i agree with your point/points wholeheartedly. the reality of the church's imperfection is very apparent to all of us. many people who left the church whom i've talked to seem to consider themselves very "spiritual" because they made the decision to leave the church or a particular congregation. yes we are stupid. the apostle paul could have just continued starting new congregations when the existing ones disappoint him. but, in his writings, he takes the time to present the truth of God, make efforts to reconcile himself to others and reconcile those that have been "disenfranchised". it's all about redemption. we all need to be saved.

we are the church. there is a place for constructive feedback to try to put things in perspective and order. but when it's all about criticism and not much love and grace and a continued striving for unity, then we are not attacking the church. we are attacking the Bridegroom too.

have a blessed day!

Re: Why People Leave the Church

pcg — Sun, 03 May 2009 11:45:41 -0000

I have very little to add to an already vibrant conversation. The one thing that has been on my heart is something I've struggled with for a while now: blaming "the church" for the church's problems. It seems so en vogue today to become disenfranchised with the church and leave a particular body, or leave the corporate body altogether. Hypocrites, liars, power struggles... these are all problems in the church today.

Yet these were also problems with the church in Corinth, were they not? And yet Paul did not question their salvation nor call for an upheaval of the church nor turn his back on the wayward body.

The problem, then, with people leaving the church today seems to be that consumerism has so thoroughly permeated the mindset of today's Christian. We are too lazy, too fat, too stupid to stand beside Paul in working through struggles toward unity for the glory of Christ; rather, if the pastor says something we don't like, we leave. If the church isn't meeting our needs (which, after all, is the whole reason the church is supposed to exist, right?! /sarcasm), we find a church with the right programs that WILL meet our needs. We will jump ship if the preacher is too boring, or the music is too loud, or the social programs are not ambitious enough, or the paint in the sanctuary is too crazy, or the parking is too sparse... you get the picture.

I'm not saying the church doesn't have problems — it does and the time to meet those problems is now. I just want to be careful not to denigrate Christ's bride too much, when it might be that we ourselves are the problem, not "the church".

Re: Why People Leave the Church

E .F — Sun, 03 May 2009 08:06:35 -0000

Ernest: Alone or in the Croud keep your heart on the one who talked to Job and to the Jews and to the Greeks and to the church body follow Christ
if people don't agree move to were they will.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

chaplainjames — Sat, 02 May 2009 11:34:01 -0000

A lot of reasons are used as to why people leave the church that are not aligned with what the Bible teaches. The bWord of God says that there will be a falling away in the last days. People want God and Church to fit them or their way of living but the Bible speaks the truth. Some will rejoice over what the Word of God says and others will be totally put off. Traditions of men will never prevail. A true relationship that can only be fostered through the Holy Spirit of God can relieve the spiritual burdens that some bear. Some people need a spiritual "tune-up". The best way o get one is to take it to the manufacturer, God Almighty.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Kevin — Fri, 01 May 2009 10:22:25 -0000

Really... the true answer is "Did not have an encounter with God because the Pastor didn't know what he/she was doing."

Because if the Pastor did introduce you to the God of the universe, there's no way you would leave.

But that's probably a bit too harsh.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

phyllis hartwig — Fri, 01 May 2009 10:18:04 -0000

Stay faithful in Christ, and you will have eternal life..Those who won't stay faithful will not see God..

Re: Why People Leave the Church

phyllis hartwig — Fri, 01 May 2009 10:12:38 -0000

He who is faithful to the end, will see the Lord. All others will be judged..He will know HIs sheep, and His sheep hear His voice. In the end the "drifters" will be cast out into eternal darkness. They will be without excuse.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

NCSue — Fri, 01 May 2009 05:16:59 -0000

I left the Protestant world after trying a series of denominations and finding that, far too often, political correctness and popular opinion ruled the day. The Catholic church is willing to stand fast on issues such as abortion. I admire that.

http://acts17verse28.blogsp...

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Hoebexl — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:48:51 -0000

The state of today's church with people choosing to participate or to check out based on their needs being met or their feelings being hurt, while on the one hand is something I sympathize with (as I have stated in an earlier post), on the other hand is simply one more indication of the deep infiltration of consumerism into our value systems. We really do think that what we want/need is more important than what Christ said would build his kingdom and show the world that we are his followers.

As if the divisions among believers is not bad enough (thousands of denominations - almost as many churches as law firms in any given town), we further condemn ourselves by running from one church to the next at the slightest provocation - or even worse, we run away altogether.

I see three solid biblical reasons to leave a church: 1. biblical error that the leadership refuses to correct; 2. gross immorality that the leadership refuses to address; 3. calling to ministry that requires a change in location or at least in fellowship. Otherwise, we should find a way to heal what is broken.

That, of course, is ideal and we don't live in an ideal world. But if we would at least strive for it, we would see something more like the church the early Christians had where they didn't have several dozen churches to choose from in one town, and the idea of leaving the church, for a believer, would have been unthinkable - as long as one remained a believer.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

annr — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:15:19 -0000

For us it's a matter of diabilities - our children's and the lack of people who are trained enough to help work with our children's intense needs. Dr. Dobson put it well when he asked on a radio broadcast, "Where are all the blind, deaf, physically impaired, and special needs in our churches today?" ...hmmm, where indeed? Good question.

We have asked for help, but our one child's needs are so intense, that there is no one who feels they even can help. We do home church by watching a broadcast on TV and discussing it afterwards - application. But it's lonely.

Perhaps it is a matter of trying to appeal to the whirlwind of the North American culture that is bringing in politics, or trying to keep them out. Not really sure. Sometimes I think it's just that we get so busy, we get distracted by 'shiny things' and when we look back to our congregations, we feel discontented. Other congregations require an application, interview, fill in a booklet, and get approved to just become a member because they are so busy being the 'corporate body'.

Sometimes I wonder if we've lost our first love. If in this over stimulating and fast-paced world we live in, Jesus just doesn't seem enough. After learning about Christ through the eyes of the disabled, it really allows me to see this world differently too. Maybe being caught up in the need to 'grow', we've forgotten why we are alive in the first place? JMHO, but then again, maybe I've just got too much grass growing under my feet!!!

How to change it? Connect. It takes time and may mean that you don't grow at the rapid pace and several thousand in attendance, but those relationships are real and a family base does indeed form. Be truly concerned and loving towards your church family. Go beyond the hugs and handshakes at the door. Use various social technologies, but always bring it back to the human connection and relationship, modeling relationship building of God, with our family in Christ.

Just glad that I'm doing what I'm doing. My hat's off to pastors everywhere, because it is a huge responsibility!

Re: Why People Leave the Church

John — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:05:25 -0000

My goodness all of this is to say the least interesting. Just remember one more, in that each of us should bring one more to the table. Start with that and grow where your gifts and talents lead you. Thank all of you and may God Bless just one more, in God's Grace John

Re: Why People Leave the Church

xpagan66 — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 13:56:42 -0000

I replied in part and then hit the wrong button.
Imagine living in the book of Acts and living around the early believers who shared everything in common. All there needs were physical and spiritual needs being met. Would U want to become part of that? The living Bible. How about today? If U had a home church like that, and the word got out in the hood, what would happen? Huge natural expansion. There R 104 churches within 8 miles of my home in Palm Harbor Fl. If half of those love flowed out as it did in the Acts Church what do U think would happen? More love, less poverty, less crime, more people in the kingdom. The Apostle were 12 guy's who changed the world. No degrees, no church buildings, or private jets, American express cards. There R big churches who cannot change a city block. We R admonished to take care of the widows and the orphans. There R orphanages in the Tampa bay area. There should not be. I went to the leadership of a 2500 person church and had an idea. There was a low income area close to the church. I thought as the church sat empty most of the week why not bring the people in and train them to get jobs and how to keep them by teaching them skills. I was told by leadership that there was no return on their investment. How is that for love?

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Jdolinski — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 12:41:24 -0000

I can't stay away from the body hence the struggle. How long before i can no longer struggle anymore?

But Jesus didn't die for the church as an organizational event or even as a relational event, but rather for salvation. Getting along great is just a different issue, one which I don't disagree is important side issue, but not the main issue.

We are so concerned with keeping our own issues that we don't spend the time or money to minister to the population at large. We are sending less missionaries then ever. We are supporting less missionaries then ever. I belonged to a church once where their multi-million dollar budget included $5,000 for missions and over $500,000 in multimedia... Seems a bit backwards, but moving on.

Your assumption is that it is the Body of Christ. How can you tell? By the fruit? Or are we not supposed to judge? Well that puts us into a pickle doesn't it.

Alvin,

That new sense of legalism you are talking about is call "UN Regenerate" or "Non-Christian" I wouldn't argue with them if I had too. You can not tell a fool his folly, or you will be made the fool.

We try to justify that there are other tenants that make up Christianity like believing, however James points out that if there are no fruits your "faith" is suspect.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Andrew Conard — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 11:35:37 -0000

Steven - Thanks for reposting the study and providing your comments. I think that you make a reasonable assessment of the situation. There is a balance to be met between equipping others (spending time with those who are regular attenders) and inviting others (spending time with those who are not a part of a faith community)
Depending on one's particular role and the size of the church this balance will be met in different ways. I believe that it is most important that neither gets lost and that there is a component of both in any role within the church.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Sandra25 — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 11:27:12 -0000

Marc, you bring up a good point: "... when your Church stops meeting your needs ..." Wow! That reminds me that only Christ can meet my needs. Not people, not a building, not a program, not a worship style, not a dynamic pastor. And it reminds me to check my "experienced reality" against the ultimate standard: the truth of God's word, not my Church experience. Good reminders.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Sandra25 — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 11:18:18 -0000

But when we work out the issues of interacting with others (i.e., "struggle to get along"), and in doing so learn to respect and love others, are we not moving toward righteousness? Are not seeking to become more Christ-minded in our relationships? Is this not an example of righteousness?

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Marc — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 05:22:19 -0000

I think the term "gradual" applies to most of those factors. The bottom line is when your Church stops meeting your needs and/or losing touch with your experienced reality you stop going.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

Jamie — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 22:57:38 -0000

For those "disenfranchised":

If you're connected to the Head, you won't be able to stay from the body for long. Are you part of the problem or part of the solution? I know I was THE problem for a long time before I got serious about what Jesus died for- His Bride-the Church.

Re: Why People Leave the Church

alvin_tsf — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 22:21:01 -0000

jerod

"I think our challenge is to be serving at churches to help them be a place where we realize none of us are perfect, but together we can try to live better and serve in the way Jesus calls us to"

i like this very much. thanks.

here's my opinion. the study showed the main reason why people leave church...judgmental and hypocritical people, too many and too much about rules and; the church is power-hungry and money-crazed. the key word i think is "serving". as jerod mentioned. as this thread obviously shows, there is much to criticize about organizations, people and teachings. but what steven is pointing out is that how can we serve in a way that reaches those in the fringes. those that are drifting away. there is little we can do about the reality of church politics and the many defects of structure. but i think we should focus on our calling to be the called out ones, the ones that decalare His excellencies, and not wait around to be "ministered to" .

perhaps we can start by toning down our hypercritical attitude towards those in leadership. many elders, deacons and pastors would love to just sit around in houses sipping coffee and do inductive bible study. but God called them to this very thankless office. and there a few who are sincerely striving to be faithful undershepherds. lets pray for them, that the Lord would not let power or money get in the way of their calling as leaders.

i also see a new legalism rising.... emerging. a legalism where there are no rules. no guidelines. no order and eventually...no scripture. just a group of people getting along fine...without Jesus. we fight against too many rules. i agree with this 100%. but the Spirit is also the God of order. i think the key to serving is accountability. it is not so easy to rant in a blog when you have made a commitment to a congregation, no matter how imperfect it is. because, well, it is all about grace isn't it?